Better Sex Life

Quick Sex Tip: Choose Your Underwear Well!

Admin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:31:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Underwear is a major industry in the USA.

Billions are spent on fancy undergarments. For me, I understand women’s underwear, but am mystified about men’s. We even wonder if some men are boxer or brief guys.

Bras are a big deal and there seems to be endless invention and patents involved. We are the only mammals whose females have permanently distended mammaries. That alone is reason to celebrate with a new bra.

As a young man I remember Frederick’s of Hollywood and their Mail Order Catalog. It was black and white art at first and very Art Deco. Sketches of women showed imaginative and provocative designs. And it was from, wait for it…HOLLYWOOD!

Today the soft porn underwear star is Victoria’s Secret. There is a part of me that really misses the old black and white drawings. Imagination is more powerful for me that full color photo of some model.

The purpose of this stuff is to make the wearer feel beautiful, sexy and desirable. Why else would people wear it when they know that no one is going to see it when they dress and undress alone at home. If a red g-string and push up bra scream in the night and no one is there to hear it, is there any sound? Apparently, yes!

The other reason for sexy underwear is to mimic variety for your lover. It’s kinda like you’re not supposed to know its me because now I have on this hot underwear.

“See, you thought I was someone else, didn’t you?” I suppose it’s the same kind of thing that’s at work when no one recognizes Clark Kent as Superman, because he donned those hot glasses.

Now the difficult part: Men’s Sexy underwear.

Whitie tighties are mostly a thing of the past, but they are making a comeback in some circles. White tees are coming back as well. Still there are shocking and imaginative advances in men’s underwear world.

Do women find men’s underwear attractive?

What about going Commando and saving the $19.99? Is that better or worse?

Know your audience when picking your underwear. What would he or she like and what would you like for yourself? You’d think a pair of whitey tighties with holes would be a turnoff. Yet, there are those that would find that stimulating.

Variety is the spice of life. Just make sure your underwear fits!

Steve Litt has been providing psychotherapy for over 40 years. Steve was named Therapist of the Year by the Colorado branch of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) for 2010. Steve provides original content at SMARTERrelationships.com. You can follow him on Twitter at @SteveLittAdvice.

Steve W Litt, LCSW

View the original article here

How to Seduce Women By Playing Hard to Get

Admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 22:38:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Playing hard to get is one of those things that women seem to learn how to do at a pretty early age and guys, well, some just never quite get it. It’s also one of the more effective ways to seduce a woman, if it is done right. What you can’t do, though, is try to play hard to get with a woman who has not interest in you at all. If you try that, all you will be doing is wasting your time and energy. You can’t win (get her in bed) if she is not playing the game, because… seduction needs to have two players to make it work.

That is, of course unless you are trying to seduce yourself which I am going to take a wild guess and assume you are not. Let’s be serious though for a moment. One of the major disadvantages that men have when it comes to dating, is that women learn stuff at a much earlier age. So, by the time a woman is that hot adult female you see in the club… she already has quite a bit of experience playing games with guys.

Let’s try to stack the odds back in your favor just a little bit. Here are some tips on how to seduce women by playing hard to get:

1) In the first phase, you have to get some kind of attraction going with her.

Like I said before, you can’t play hard to get with a woman who does not feel any attraction to you at all. She won’t even notice what you are doing or care at all. So, before you do anything else, you need to create some kind of attraction between you and her.

2) In the next phase, you want to have some kind of connection established with her.

Even if there is a little bit of attraction, playing hard to get works best when you are already connected to her in some way. A few clever conversations with her will do the trick. You don’t need much more than that, you just need to establish something that you can kind of take away from her.

3) And in the third phase, you need to take it away from her and play hard to get.

Here’s a good way to look at how this should work. Let’s say that you meet a woman, things click a bit and you end up having a couple of interactions with her. At this point, this is when you need to play the game and act a little bit hard to get. What you do is take away some of the attention that you give her, make yourself unavailable to her once in a while, things like that.

As a man, playing hard to get with a woman may seem weird at first, but it is one of the best ways to seduce women and create a sense of her longing for you.

Check Out: How to Seduce a Woman to Get Your FREE Report on How to Approach, Attract, and Seduce ANY Woman You DESIRE…

View the original article here

Porn – Here’s How To Get Your Woman To Watch “Naughty Movies” With You (Kinky Sex)

Admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:54:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Most men tend to really like PORN MOVIES. Heck, I believe that in some ways “adult movies” are partly responsible for this current generation of men being unable to satisfy their women in the bedroom.

You see, when you have sex with your woman it is a visual and auditory experience – just like porn. However, unlike porn – when you have sex with your woman there are other senses involved, those being FEEL, SMELL and TASTE.

Basically, I think that when men watch too much porn – they become reliant on what they see and hear. Then, when they have “real sex” with their woman, they are not tuned in enough to what they feel, smell and taste.

So BE CAREFUL WITH PORN.

With that said, it can be fun to watch NAUGHTY movies with your woman – but you have to go about it the right way (and most men don’t).

First of all – if you are not giving your woman vaginal and multiple orgasms every time you have sex – DO NOT watch porn with her. The reason why is because if your woman sees a female porn star getting much more sexual pleasure on screen than you are giving her – your woman is likely to feel confused, annoyed and perhaps even angry with you!

So, get the sex working properly with your woman before you try to watch porn with her.

However, if you are giving your woman mind-blowing sex – feel free to watch porn with her occasionally.

Here Is How To Get Your Woman To Watch “Naughty Movies” With You

There is definitely something kinky and a little naughty about you and your woman “getting it on”; whilst you are watching other people “get it on” in a porn movie.

And women love to GET NAUGHTY – so this can be powerful.

The way to get your woman to watch porn with you is to choose the type of porn you watch with her very carefully.

You see, we guys tend to be happy watching any porn, as long as the woman (or women) is very attractive. We also tend to like to watch Lesbian porn.

However, your woman is a bit more picky when it comes to what porn will turn her on. Here is what most women want to watch:

They want to watch porn with a STORY LINE. And they want that story line to be a little naughty, a little wrong and a little perverse.

We guys don’t mind if the porn actors just start having sex as soon as the scene starts.

BUT – your woman wants to see FOREPLAY in the porn that you watch with her; just like she wants you to give her foreplay before you have sex with her (you do give your woman foreplay, right?).

So, let me really HELP YOU OUT by giving you some ideas of the type of porn and story lines that your woman will probably find a turn on:

- Naughty school girl being called to the headmaster’s office and then getting “punished” for being a bad girl

- Anything very artistic (women like those movies where the guys where masks and the women where leather cat-suits where the crotch unzips and everything else stays on)

- A woman takes her car in for a service, then realises she has no money to pay – so she pays the workers at the garage in “another way”

Do you get this?

Do you see how your woman’s mind works?

Women want the porn with the REALLY NAUGHTY story lines that slowly build up to sex. They do not want to watch the porn that jumps straight into sex because they find it boring.

So, if you want to get your woman to watch porn with you…

- Use it rarely (once every 6 to 8 weeks). Do not start trying to watch porn with your woman every night

- Choose porn that your woman will like (clever, naughty, slightly perverse, “wrong” story lines)

- Make sure you are giving your woman incredible sex BEFORE you start to introduce porn into your bedroom. If you aren’t giving your woman vaginal and multiple orgasms every time you have sex with, get that happening before you think about porn.

More than anything – your woman wants you to give her ORGASMS. Remember that.

To find out exactly how to give your woman mind-blowing orgasms that make her shake, moan and scream your name, click HERE.

View the original article here

Men Strive for Absolute Sexuality, While Women Settle for Relative Sexuality

Admin — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 05:07:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

The most intense feelings we can all get is through sexuality, and perhaps life is meant to be intensely pleasurable. In order to feel as though we have a right to intense pleasure, we need to be able to be free from how we are indoctrinated to be defensive about pleasure. We are all brought up in an atmosphere of repression, especially sexual repression, and one way to break free from this is to develop alternatives to learned defensiveness. (Instinctual and intuitive defensiveness is unlearned and arises spontaneously, i.e., the “fight or flight” instinct response.)

Instead of enjoying our physical sensuality and trusting that what we feel IS pleasurable, we often begin to question it, especially if we are deprived of affection and affectionate touching as infants and/or toddlers. This affection may be a kind of PRACTICE validity that we use to build a self that feels deserving of pleasure. If a kind of primary contentedness is lacking we may seek EXTERNALLY derived validity, namely others to CONFIRM that what we FEEL is, in fact what we feel in the first place. This questioning of our validity is our introduction to indoctrination. We think we HAVE to “fit in” to society and, or culture, when, if we only trusted in our own validity, we could have limitless pleasure.

If we all could allow ourselves to become less repressed sexually, we would have a better world. Often, instead of allowing ourselves to “plug-in” and be “filled up” we are prevented, and/or we prevent ourselves from doing so. We need to comprehend that the more we fight repression and enjoy our selves and our lives instead of “going along” to get along, we can maximize our energy. When we allow our NATURAL energies to become repressed, they must be redirected and the most common way we redirect our energies is through internal or external anger. Internal anger becomes depression and external anger becomes symbolic to actual violence.

Women are less likely to see the value in seeking freedom from sexual repression because women are more objectified and are taught from an early age to have an effect on others, especially men, and to have relationships instead of even HAVING a self TO relate to and feel. In other words, a woman is often reduced, limited, defined by her relationships to others and reduced, limited and defined by her appearance and the effect her appearance has on others. As a result females may consider themselves valid only to the extent that they are in a relationship to others, instead of being in a primary relationship to themselves. This may cause women to ignore, trivialize, invalidate, etc., their own sexuality.

B. Todish can be reached at btodish@verizon.net

View the original article here

How to Increase Female Sex Drive

Admin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:18:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

It is completely natural for women to experience low female sex drive,at some point in their lives. This is primarily due to the changes that are taking place in their body in relation to hormones. These can be as a result of childbirth, running the family, conflicts on a personal level, relationship problems stress etc.With the latest strides that have been made in the fields of technology and science, ways of how to improve female sex drive have become common.

Emotional point of view

From an emotional point of view, an improvement in the quality of life, the maintaining of cordial channels of communication with your spouse and the taking care of your emotional needs will go a long way in ensuring that the woman leads a full of high sex libido. Every woman need to take time and learn ways on how to increase female sex drive. Low spirits are also a major cause of low female sex drive.

Most of the ways of how to increase female sex libido target the reduction of stress. This is because when a woman is stress free she will be responsive to sexual advances from the partner or spouse and will be willing to engage in sexual intercourse.

Alcoholism is known to diminish sexual libido to a large extent. It works in such a way that the libido levels are lowered making one become disinterested with sex. The myth that alcohol is a stimulant will remain just that because scientific evidence suggests that alcohol is a depressant.Exercising and working out on a regular basis will greatly improve blood flow, build up the strength in muscles, improve stamina and lead to an increase in female sex drive.

Women are creatures who want to be constantly reassured for their looks, clothes, shoes, cooking and sexuality, so make sure that your woman is complimented on a regular basis. This will ensure that she is constantly hungry not only for your attention, but she has high levels of female sexual libido. You should also take time to get to know your partner well, her likes and dislikes and how she likes her sexual intercourse to play out. If the problems responsible for a low sex drive are deeper, the services of a counselor or sex therapist would be needed. One should not be shy or embarrassed at having to open up your most inner most secrets to your counselor or sex therapist.

Medical opinion

As far as medical opinion is concerned, there are a many ways on how to increase female sex drive. For instance estrogen therapy may be applied and it will lead to the lubrication of the vagina in addition of increasing the sensitivity. Apart from estrogen therapy, testosterone therapy may also be used. It is widely popular but its effects are yet to be conclusively made known. There are however reports that it leads to facial hair growth.Learning the ways of how to increase female sex drive will go a long way in making your relationship more meaningful.

For more information on how to increase female sex drive, visit www.lyriana.com/female-sex-drive/.

View the original article here

Natural Solutions for Common Sexual Health Concerns

Admin — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 10:45:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

According to recent studies, over 90% of adult women report having concerns about their sexual health. Our sexuality is a major part of our life and can greatly affect our overall physical, mental and emotional health. Unfortunately sexual wellness is an aspect of our health that is largely ignored and avoided, and, as such, very much misunderstood. This is mainly because it can be uncomfortable to discuss, even with a health professional.

Sex is a natural part of life. Aside from being the very process of our procreation, sex is an instinctual activity that most adults enjoy on a regular basis. And sex is good for your health – with or without a partner. In addition to raising hormone levels (retaining your youth), sex can also boost metabolism, brain function, heart health and immunity. However, due to diet, lack of physical activity, stress, anxiety, prescribed medications, tiredness and a slew of other inhibitors, many women suffer from various sexual health issues.

“What we know is that very little of what’s going on with women and sex is below the waist. Almost all of it is above the neck.” – Anita Clayton, Professor, University of Virginia’s Center for Psychiatric Clinical Research

Studies show that over 87% of women have concern about a lack of interest in sexual activity. A female’s libido is much more complex than that of a male. For most men with healthy testosterone levels, they are ready to go anywhere at any time. It usually doesn’t take much ‘encouragement’ for men to get aroused, especially with the continuous stream of visual stimulation from the ever-expanding cache of media outlets. For women, it is different. Our sexual desire is more holistic. It involves our thoughts and beliefs, our emotions and feelings, as well as our bodies. When we are out of balance with any part of that, we don’t feel as sexy and are therefore simply not as interested.

So how can we naturally increase our sexual desire? It is not as easy as just popping a Viagra. Women need to address several areas of their overall wellness in order to be aroused. First, we need to have enough energy. We need to be stress-free and at peace. The desire comes from deep within a woman’s soul. It’s that craving to connect and that longing to express love and passion. A healthy diet and physical activity can certainly improve female libido. It is also good to take a daily supplement to support the body from the inside out.

One supplement that I highly recommend is Add Lib, which contains a natural blend of herb extracts and vitamins formulated for women looking to increase energy, desire and mood. I’ve taken Add Lib daily for over a year now and it has made a huge difference in my life and relationship. I look and feel younger, having more sustained energy throughout the day. I’m more physically active than ever before with improved endurance and stamina. I feel better about myself and have more sexual desire. Self improvement is an on-going process, as we are all a work in progress. By having more motivation and incentive, it is much easier to mark personal improvement.

Another area of concern is vaginal dryness. Almost 75% of women report inadequate lubrication. Even young girls in their early 20′s can have a problem with dryness if they take antihistamines, birth control, or prescription drugs. Of course natural lubrication diminishes with age as well. It can be embarrassing and terribly uncomfortable when a woman is not ‘wet’ enough for penetration. Foreplay is extremely important to ‘prime the pump’ so to speak. Cunnilingus is an excellent way to lubricate the area, and may also induce orgasm. However, some women still need additional lubrication for comfort and longer-lasting pleasure.

You need to be careful about what you put in and on your body, as most common lubricants contain petroleum-based chemicals, parabens and synthetic ingredients that can be harmful to your health. One all-natural personal lubricant that I recommend is The Natural. Just like its name, it contains natural ingredients to support women’s health and sexual wellness with additional potential health benefits. It has a silky smooth base of carrageenan, which is a marine algae extract. Do your own research on carrageenan, as it has been studied extensively in preventing STDs, HPV and cervical cancer. In addition carrageenan, The Natural also contains organic aloe and agave inulin to soothe sensitive vaginal tissue. It is safe to use as a daily vaginal moisturizer to stay supple, and it’s great to apply after shaving as well.

The last issue we’ll discuss here is sexual satisfaction. Over 83% of women have concern with difficulty to achieve orgasm. This is also where women differ from men, as it is primarily a physical function and fairly easy for guys to experience orgasm through ejaculation. All women are different, and it can take a lot of time and various techniques to reach orgasm. It is important to experiment with your own body to find the best way to achieve maximum pleasure, and then direct your partner in how to participate.

It may also be fun to try a stimulation gel to help increase arousal and sensitivity. Just a few drops gel massaged into the clitoral area can significantly intensify physical pleasure. The tingly sensation can really add some zing to your sexual experience and may also help induce stronger, more frequent orgasms. Be sure to choose an all natural product such as [G] Stimulating Gel, as it does not contain petro-chemicals, parabens, glycerin, or any harmful chemicals.

Remember there is nothing wrong with you if any of these issues are personal concerns of your own. As you can see with the unbelievably high percentages stated here, that you are not alone and these concerns are quite common. The products mentioned above can all be found at www.DreamBrands.com. The data from the research studies mentioned in this article were conducted at University of North Carolina and Yale University. The women surveyed were ages 18-87 (median age 44).

Allura Joy has worked with women of all ages and of diverse backgrounds for many years in offering support, holistic therapy and relationship counseling, as well as sharing valuable resources and useful information in the areas of women’s sexuality, health & wellness. Allura has facilitated various women’s groups, retreats, conferences and special events for women to come together in community to share, connect and support one another.

Allura also works with women individually to help resolve personal issues around relationships and intimacy, specializing in helping women who may have emotional and/or physical issues and insecurities with sexual expression and experiencing orgasm. She enjoys helping clients explore their passions in finding a sense of purpose and to manifest their dreams and desires. She is a certified Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Licensed Massage Therapist and Yoga Instructor.

Allura enjoys writing articles to empower women in their sexuality, promoting a healthy fulfilling sex life – with or without a partner! Check out my blog, Straight UP Girl Talk with Allura at: http://www.oceanusnaturals.com/blog

View the original article here

How To Last Longer During Sex

Admin — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 16:26:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

It is an astonishing fact that a large majority of men suffer from the problem of not being able to last longer in bed. Most men think that in order to treat this embarrassing problem they will have to spend a huge sum of money on medical treatments. However this thinking is far from reality because there are some techniques which when put into use can easily help men increase the amount of time they spend in bed during sexual intercourse. In this article let us have a look at the mental and the physical causes of this problem and some of the easy techniques you can apply to control your ejaculation.

Causes
The main cause of mostly all health ailments is generally high stress levels. When a person is feeling stressed out he is bound to under-perform both at work and in bed because his body will not support his mind hence it is very important to give your body appropriate rest in order to perform well in all walks of life. We can distress ourselves through yoga, meditation, herbal supplements and sleeping for a minimum of 8 hours a day.

Mind Control
One of the most effective ways that can help a man last longer in bed is the deviation of mind from our body to something else. Generally men start counting backwards or think about some events which were not so pleasant in their life. The main aim of this technique is to bring down the level of excitement in our body which can lead to early ejaculation.

Avoid Masturbation
Through the habit of uncontrolled masturbation our mind subconsciously sets a time frame of ejaculating quickly, the effect of this habit shows when we actually indulge in sexual activity and our mind tries to order our body to quickly ejaculate resulting in a premature end of a sexual encounter. On the other controlled masturbation helps us discover the feelings that can trigger an orgasm. Hence next time you masturbate take your own sweet time and train your mind to last longer in bed.

Herbal Supplements
Natural herbs as we all know have been in existence since the advent of mankind. These natural herbs have been used successfully by men all over the world to strengthen their sexual powers. Hence if you are struggling in your sexual life taking these herbal supplements will greatly help in improving your sexual health and power.

Delay herbal pills are made from potent herbs which help in relaxing your mind and get over your anxiety helping you last longer in bed visit http://www.herbalhealthhealing.com/delay.php

View the original article here

How Women Find Their Sexuality

Admin — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 17:50:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

“I wasn’t allowed to date until I was sixteen.”

“I used to cuddle on my daddy’s lap but after I turned twelve, he wouldn’t even hug me anymore. He yelled at me to ‘put something on!’ when I came downstairs to watch television in my pajamas when I was fifteen. “

“We used to have sleepovers with all the cousins, boys and girls, together.”

“My cousin, Sally, and me, we would sneak to the pond and watch the boys when they swam naked.”

“It was almost by accident, I pressed the hair brush handle against myself.”

“I used to love sliding up and down the playground pole.”

“My mom and I went horseback riding…”

“I found a bunch of magazines in my brother’s room. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at!”

“The pastor of my church was very clear that dancing was the Devil’s work.”

“My mom got so embarrassed by the sex education material that the school sent home that she hurried from the room, leaving me to stare at the floor and my dad to shift awkwardly in his chair.”

“We used to watch Sex in the City together.”

“When mom caught me touching myself in the bathtub she explained that there were pleasurable feelings that were good but that I couldn’t touch myself around other people.”

“In high school, someone had a copy of Fanny Hill. We passed it along until the pages began to tear.”

“My best friend and I were comparing our boobs. One thing led to another and soon we were kissing and touching each other…”

These are just a few examples of ways that women come to understand something essential about their sexuality. The exploration and awareness of what we are feeling in our bodies is our introduction to our sexuality. The truth is that we do not find our sexuality so much as we “rediscover” it as we get older. What I have found enlightening from my many, many discussions with women is that when I ask them how they found their sexuality, many of them refer to a time long before puberty.

In other words, long before a time that we normally associate with being sexually mature.

For small children, discovering their penises and vaginas is a time of delightful discovery – and pleasure. Those “privates” that had been hidden away in thick diapers and clothes become available in bathtubs or running around the house without any clothing on as our mothers chased after us, imploring us to get dressed. But they were laughing and smiling when they did.

As we become toilet trained, we begin to associate all sorts of pleasurable – and sometimes shameful – feelings with our genitals. A few scenarios to illustrate this, I will introduce Mona.

I have a friend, I will call her “Mona”, who recalls the first time she was conscious of “discovering” her vagina. And that there was some kind of shame involved with her discovery.

I was with the other kids on the block. We always played together. God, how old could I have been? Maybe eight or nine. Anyway, I don’t know how it happened but the four or five of us started showing each other our bodies. It probably started because it was a warm day and the boys weren’t wearing shirts.

It seemed silly to me that I had to wear a shirt. After all, it wasn’t as if there was anything different between my chest and the boys’ chests at that point. We were all just skinny little bean poles. We were children for God’s sake.

Anyway, we were running through the sprinklers and, of course, the clothes we kept on were getting wet. So, it made perfect sense to simply take the clothes off.

I’m sure we were aware that we were doing something “wrong.” After all, we didn’t generally run around naked. I remember not long before this my dad had accidentally walked into the bathroom when I was taking a bath. He seemed so unnerved and embarrassed. He practically fell over himself to get back out of the bathroom. I wondered if there was anything wrong.

Of course, I didn’t ask him about it. We didn’t talk much in general in our house. My parents were lovely people but they were a bit emotionally distant. They could be strict but most of the time they were just there, background presences. I think most parents were like that then.

So, we were running through the sprinklers naked when Bobby, I think it was Bobby, pointed at me and laughed. I asked him what he was laughing at and he said that I didn’t have a penis. I can still feel the way I felt. It was a combination of defensiveness and anger and… and… and a sense that something was missing. Isn’t that terrible? That I would think that.

Of course, I was smart enough to tell him that I wasn’t supposed to have a penis, that I was a girl. I had a vagina. He asked how I peed without a penis. The other girl in the group, Susie, told him that she would show him. So she just squatted down on the grass near the sprinkler and peed.

We all giggled. It was all good-natured. We were all the best of friends. Our parents were good friends. We had BBQ’s together.

I made Elliot, the seven-year-old, bend over so we could see where he “made” from. Then we all showed our rear ends to one another. I think it was about then when my mom appeared. I don’t know if she’d been watching us or if she’d just showed up but I looked up and saw the expression on her face and I couldn’t place it. She was shocked. Outraged. Unnerved. Everything at once. She sure wasn’t amused.

She marched over and even though the sprinkler was spraying on her she grabbed me by the arm and began to drag me away.

“My clothes!” I cried out, not wanting to be dragged across the street to our house without my clothes on.

“You should have thought of that before!” she snapped.

She dragged me while I cried and screamed. She smacked my bottom a couple of times as we crossed the street. When we got home, she really gave me a spanking. Then she made me stay in my room, promising to tell my father as soon as he got home.

Which she did.

My father came into my room and looked right at me. “I’m very disappointed in you, Princess.” That’s what he said, in those exact words. He told me I should never, ever behave like that again. Then he told me that he would have to smack me with the belt – the most severe punishment in our house and one that was generally only visited upon my brother. But that day, I got the belt.

Later, I heard my parents through my bedroom door. They seemed to be talking about whether I had to be taken to the doctor, although I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why – unless it was because they’d spanked me too hard.

I’m sure it is just the way I am misremembering it, but I can’t recall ever playing together with those friends like that again.

From then on, girls played with girls and boys played with boys.

And no one ever spoke about the incident again.

Mona’s experience is very insightful in that it brings into play many of the things that contribute to our sense of our sexuality. There was a peer group. Clearly, there was some “objective” knowledge that the children had gained from someplace – family or books – because they knew what their genitals were called and that boys had penises and girls had vaginas. In addition, despite no “spoken” prohibition, they all knew that being naked was somehow “not allowed” even though they could see no reason for it.

Finally, Mona’s family had a tremendous impact on this event and experience. Unfortunately, the message she received from her parents’ reaction was a powerfully negative one.

Just a few of the lessons that Mona came with were that nudity was wrong, that her behavior, though childlike and innocent, was wrong and bad, that what she did was deserving of punishment.

There was no discussion. No explanation. No acknowledgement that everyone is curious and that there are better (“more comfortable” for her parents) ways to learn.

Imagine what could have been.

Mona’s mother could have let Mona collect her clothes. She could have held her hand as they crossed the street, making it clear that even though she was separating Mona from the activity she didn’t think that Mona was “bad.”

When they got back to the house, she could have suggested that Mona get cleaned up and dried off.

“Why don’t you take a quick bath and I’ll make a snack?”

Then, when they were sitting together enjoying a snack, Mona’s mother could have acknowledged Mona’s curiosity and found an appropriate way to discuss her body. In other words, Mona’s mother could have nurtured Mona’s sexuality.

It was, of course, very unlikely that she’d do that. Mona’s mother no doubt struggled with a blunted sexuality herself. Sex was not discussed in the house. There were no overt displays of affection between Mona’s parents.

“Just a coolness. A distance,” Mona said. “They were such lovely people, really. I can’t say that I thought they were ever happy though.”

Ah, happiness. There’s a difficult concept to address. We all want to be happy but that “pursuit of happiness” seems to trip us up frequently. Perhaps because we are only guaranteed the “pursuit” and not the “happiness.”

What I can say is that Mona is only now beginning to feel comfortable with her sexuality – after two divorces and several unsatisfying relationships.

I would not suggest that there was a direct link to Mona’s playful experience, her parents’ reaction, and how she developed into a sexually struggling and then sexual mature adult. What the incident does do is highlight the various factors that come into play in our developing sense of our sexuality and why, for so many women, the task is to rediscover their sexuality rather than to “find” it.

Mona, as it turned out, was developing her sexuality in a wonderful, organic and comfortable way. Her parents’ reaction blunted that and submerged that quality, causing her to struggle to “get back” to that same kind of view of her sexuality.

As Mona indicated, there was nothing in her parents’ reaction that was inconsistent with the way she was raised in general.

It is worth noting that other than comparing her chest to the boys’ (we were “skinny little bean poles”) there was no mention of other physical descriptions. No one was fat. No one had freckles. No one had big ears. Or stretch marks. Whatever.

This experience was pure sexual exploration – without the sex! – without the hang-ups and obstacles that make the process so difficult for us as adult women.

Until her mother showed up. Then there were only hang-ups.

There is no greater influence on our sense of ourselves as sexual selves than our families. Let me be very clear, I am not including those horrible situations when there is sexual abuse in the family. Clearly, such experiences are beyond damaging and demand intervention. But we are not talking about abused children.

For if history has taught us anything, it is that it does not take an abusive home to sow the seeds of sexual dysfunction. Another example to illustrate the development of sexuality is Meredith’s experience.

Meredith grew up in a solid, middle class family. Her father owned a service station. Her mother was an aide in the local elementary school. She grew up with an older sister and a younger brother. Her older sister was six years older. Her younger brother only two and a half years younger than she was.

“I was always close with Bruce,” she said, referring to her brother. “From the time I was six, I babysat him. I was around when my mom changed him. We always had a special bond.”

She and Bruce took baths together when they were small children and, while she was bathing them, her mother was not at all reluctant to answer their questions about Bruce’s penis or Meredith’s vagina.

Meredith’s father, though hardly a professional, was a lover of music and a reader of books. He was an affectionate father who encouraged Meredith to play ball just as much as he encouraged Bruce.

“Lots of summer nights, we’d be out playing catch with my dad after he got home from work,” she said wistfully.

The only “fly” in the ointment was Meredith’s older sister. “Sue was always a little wild. At least, that’s what mom said. Rebellious. Although, I couldn’t say what she was rebelling against. Seems to me we had a pretty good life.”

Although Meredith’s parents were very young when Sue was born, there was a degree of enlightenment in the household. Perhaps it was the connection to the school. Maybe it was their father’s devotion to music and books. At one point, he had wanted to be a musician and still harbored dreams of writing his own book. Maybe it was just that they had enjoyed the “fruits” of the sixties without the flame outs. Whatever it was they were very permissive raising Sue.

But when Sue hit adolescence, she seemed to have lost her way.

“Don’t worry,” Meredith’s mom assured her dad. “It’s just hormones.”

She wasn’t reassured. She started smoking cigarettes and sneaking out of the house at all hours of the night. When her parents tried to set limits, Sue screamed and shouted.

“She got pregnant when she was sixteen,” Meredith said with a shrug. “What was I? Ten years old? I don’t remember a lot. Just that there was a lot of tension in the house and my mom always seemed worried.”

Sue went to live with an aunt and she gave the baby up for adoption.

“She didn’t come back to live with us after that. It was almost like she was never part of the family,” Meredith said. “At least, not physically. Bruce and I used to refer to ‘Sue’s ghost’ all the time.”

What she meant by that was that her parent’s experience with Sue changed their outlook. They went from progressive, open parents to cautious, worried parents determined not to “make the same mistakes twice.”

Meredith was not allowed to date until she was seventeen. She wasn’t even allowed to go to boy-girl parties until she was sixteen, and then only if her parents knew that parents would be home during the party.

“But none of that was particularly damaging,” she said. “I understood where they were coming from. What was damaging was the silence that took over the house. It wasn’t for a long time after that that I realized that my dad didn’t listen to his music so much anymore.

“And he didn’t read very much. He’d just sit at the kitchen table and stare out the window.”

Seeing – and feeling – the sadness in the house had a real impact on Meredith. Without a conscious decision, she determined to be the model daughter, the perfect girl that Sue was not.

“It was like I was walking on egg shells, not wanting to make a mistake.”

She was valedictorian of her senior class. She was accepted into a very good college and, after that, medical school.

But there was always a sadness. Like a cloud, a cloud that settled upon her sexuality.

“I guess it made sense,” she said with a sigh. “After all, it was the sex that really changed everything. Until then, there were just the fights. But when Sue got pregnant… well, that just changed everything.”

Between focusing on her studies and her determination to never do anything to upset her parents, Meredith didn’t have a real boyfriend until her senior year of college.

“And we didn’t do much,” she admitted.

Her second boyfriend became her husband. They met in medical school. The first time they had sex it was quick, uncomfortable and not particularly satisfying.

“I loved him – I love him,” she said, quickly correcting herself. “But the sex thing somehow got locked up someplace deep. I mean, I studied anatomy. I was even thinking of becoming a gynecologist for a while.

“And yet, I was so uncomfortable with my own sexuality. Ironic, isn’t it?”

Ironic but not surprising. The cues we get as children have a powerful impact on how we develop into adults. In Meredith’s case, it would have seemed that her home and family environment was perfect for the development of a healthy sexual sensibility.

Dr. Allison has a Ph.D. in Human Services, an M.A. in Counseling Psychology, and a B.A. in Psychology; Dr. Allison Hopkins has spent the last 14 years counseling couples and individuals through relationship issues as well as problems encountered in everyday life (terminally ill, sexual dysfunction, couples, adolescents, sports performance, stress & anxiety, weight management). Dr. Allison is also author of: In Touch: AN EXPLORATION OF FEMALE SEXUALITY. For more info or to contact Dr. Allison visit our site: http://www.drallisonhopkins.com/

View the original article here

Physical Exercises and Sex Life

Admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:41:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

If you cannot start exercising for the sake of your fitness and health, maybe the possibility of improving your sex life might drive you to taking it a little more seriously. Exercise will not only make you look better, which definitely makes it easier to attract the opposite sex, but it can also enhance your ability and potency and make it a lot more fun. There is a direct relationship between a lack of physical exercise and impotency, which many medical studies have proven, therefore, if you do not want to be remembered for being a miserable partner, I suggest that you start taking your health and fitness a little more seriously and understand the difference it can make in your sex life.

Cardio

There are certain exercises and areas of your body that you need to pay close attention to if you really want to enhance your sex life. Cardio endurance is immensely important to having passionate and enthusiastic sex. You will have to take time to work on your cardio because it can also help you drastically increase the time you can last. In addition, cardio exercises help to strengthen your heart, which is directly, increases stamina. Furthermore, the state of your muscle endurance is also very important because at times you might have to hold unusual and physically daunting positions. If your muscles are not strong enough, you can simply wave good-bye to all of your intense sexual fantasies. The best way to enhance your cardio and muscle endurance is through running and weight training, respectively.

Weight Exercises

Moving on, the above-mentioned physical traits are both based around your strength. The stronger you are and the more stamina you have the better your sex life will be. However, to strengthen yourself you will have to challenge your body and muscles by training them with a specific amount of weight that will actually make you think twice about what you have gotten yourself. The perfect way to tell if the weight you’re lifting is actually sufficient is by the difficulty you have in lifting it over the last couple of reps. If you go through your weight training without breaking a sweat, maybe it’s better you take it up a notch. However, this does not mean that you have to bulk up and turn into a professional weightlifter, rather aim for a level that will help you increase your testosterone levels.

Stretching

Lastly, make sure that you spend some time stretching and bettering your flexibility. Nothing is worse than not being able to lift up your legs or hold certain positions. There are plenty of ways to enhance your flexibility, however, some methods are tougher and require more time than others require. Therefore, if you lack the free time to take up yoga classes, try to spend 15-20 minutes practicing simple stretches on a daily basis at the comfort of your home. Moreover, physical exercise will also help you lower stress and tension levels, both that are extremely important factors in determining the quality of your sex life.

View the original article here

Naughty Sex – How To Make Your Woman Give You Everything You Want In Bed (Blow Jobs Included)

Admin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:30:36 +0000

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

I want you to take a few seconds toimagine the following scenario:

You come in from a hard day’s work and as soon as you get through your front door, your woman gives you a HUGE SMILE and looks really pleased to see you. You smile back, take her hand, pull her in close and give her a big kiss and a cuddle.

She makes dinner (whatever your favourite food is) and you share some conversation and a little wine (or a couple of beers) with your food. Then you relax for half an hour on the sofa – either listening to some music or watching television. Next, things get interesting…

You look at her and she looks at you and she takes your hand and demands that you take her to the bedroom. So… being the cool guy that you are (who is always willing and able to SATISFY HIS WOMAN) you take her to the bedroom and have sex with her. But you don’t just have any old sex – no, no, no… you have really dirty, really naughty sex. You have the kind of sex that every man wants (but not many men ever get).

You get all the BLOW JOBS you could want and your woman even WANTS you to give her ANAL SEX. And remember – this happens every night (not just once a week or once a month like it is for many couples). Sounds pretty good, right?

Now, what if I told you that there is a way to make the scenario I described for you above a REALITY? Would you like to know how to do that? I thought you would. So pay close attention, because what I’m about to share with you has the power to take your SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS to the next level.

Naughty Sex – How To Make Your Woman Give You Everything You Want In Bed (Blow Jobs Included)

In order to get EVERYTHING you could ever dream of in the bedroom, the secret is actually very simple. Here it is…

- GIVE YOUR WOMAN AMAZING SEX

Seriously, when you give your woman amazing sex – she will willingly do pretty much ANYTHING you want in the bedroom. Give her great sex and all the blow jobs you could ever dream of will be yours. You’ll also be much more likely to get her to want ANAL SEX and even group sex (if that’s your thing).

Now, let me tell you how to give your woman amazing sex… First, you must know that amazing sex is not giving your woman one clitoral orgasm using your tongue or fingers. You can give her an ORGASM that way – but that is not amazing sex (it’s just ok sex).

Amazing sex is the kind of sex that causes your woman to brag to her friends about how good you are. Amazing sex is the kind of sex that makes your woman think of you as “the best she’s ever had”. And to give your woman amazing sex, you must give her many types of orgasm. Give her clitoral orgasms, VAGINAL orgasms and MULTIPLE orgasms.

Give her orgasms so hard and so powerful they bring a tear to her eye. Give her orgasms that make her scream your name so loudly it wakes the neighbours. Basically, give her sexual pleasure like very few men know how to give a woman. Do that and she will be eternally grateful, meaning that all the BLOW JOBS and other naughty things that you want from your woman in the bedroom, will become yours. Guaranteed.

In order to give your woman great sex and lots of ORGASMS, you must do several things that the “average man” does not do. For starters, you must respect your woman outside of the bedroom. Only when you respect your woman will she fully open up to you and surrender to you in the bedroom.

Next, you must always tell the truth and be a man of your word. This builds TRUST. Once you have a basic level of trust, you can then go on to build SEXUAL TRUST with your woman. Without sexual trust your woman will never get really naughty with you in the bedroom.

So if you want all the blow jobs and anal sex you could ever imagine – never lie or be dishonest with your woman.

INSIDE THE BEDROOM you must take control and lead your woman. Women are sexually submissive and they like strong, sexually confident, manly men. When you become that kind of guy and take control of your woman, she will love you for it.

Please remember that you must only TAKE CONTROL inside the bedroom. Your woman does not want you to control her outside of the bedroom. In fact, men who try to control their women outside of the bedroom are the exact opposite of what women want. They are weak, needy and insecure.

To give your woman great sex you must also TALK DIRTY. Women love dirty talk because it stimulates their mind (and for women, sex is very mental). Many men are afraid to talk dirty, but you must “step up” and use your voice in the bedroom if you want to become “the best your woman has ever had”.

There is no other option. Other things you must do to give your woman great sex are to use techniques like The Welcomed Method and The Deep Spot Method to give her orgasms like no man will have done before.

And also remember to do things differently each time you have sex with your woman. Make love to her in many ways and in many locations – otherwise things will get boring. And if you allow the sex to get boring – your woman will stop wanting it. I’ll finish by giving you two powerful examples from my own personal life.

With my first girlfriend (before I really worked out what great sex was) I had the kind of frustrating sex life that many men have and perhaps that you have right now. I wanted more sex than my girlfriend and I didn’t know why. What’s important to note is that at that moment in time I thought that giving her one clitoral orgasm each time we had sex was enough. How wrong was I!

Anyway, I split up with her and met a new girl. This time things were very different. I educated myself and I gave this girl incredible pleasure. I gave her clitoral orgasms, vaginal orgasms and multiple orgasms EVERY TIME we had sex. I also sometimes gave her squirting orgasms and even orgasms with no touching.

Now, let me ask you a few questions…

- How many blow jobs do you think I had with this girl?

That’s right… as many as I wanted.

- Do you think I had anal sex with this girl?

You bet I did.

- And do you think this girl wanted as much sex as I did?

Truth be told – sometimes she wanted MORE THAN I DID.

Now I think you’ll agree that is a massive contrast between those two relationships. And all I did to make the change was some learning. I taught myself how to give women incredible sex. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

After-all, a man’s greatest pleasure is pleasing his woman. Are you pleasing your woman?

To discover how to get everything you want in the bedroom and to find out how to SATISFY any WOMAN, click HERE

View the original article here